June 9, 2010

Girl Makes Granola Without Starting Fire. MIRACLE!

OK, so I have to apologize for this post, cuz its just friggin boring.  I am obsessed with my camera, and take pictures of EVERYTHING, then feel the need to blog about it.  This is a blog about CEREAL.  Really?!?!  Yup, really.  Holly, since you hate milk, you can just stop reading now. ;)

PS - I was proud of the 'not starting a fire' part considering I was drinking wine the entire time (evidence in picture below).

Here we go with the excitement!!!  My mom made this for us when we were kids to 1.) get us to eat healthy, and 2.) ensure that we crapped regularly, since string cheese and whatever else goes in a child's multh all day long can put a stop to things.  Clearly, my mom didn't know the secret that my husband's mom knew about: Pulga.  Whatever that is spanish for, you drank it, and 5 minutes later you are crapping your brains out, apparently.  This is nicer, and I am sure tastes much better, and there is no violent side effects.

Wow, now we have moved from cereal to poo.  I'm guessing that no one is going to make this stuff after I've associated it with poo.  Yum!

But, aside from actually being super delicious and full of fiber, it also has an INCREDIBLE SIDE EFFECT:  Sells Houses.  No joke.  They tell you to bake cookies during an open house to make it smell all homey an attract buyers.  Cookies my arse.  Those things smell like dog food compared to the amazing smell that comes out of your oven for TWO HOURS while this is slow baking.  Might be my favorite part of making it.  Anyway, this cereal has sold 3 houses for me so far.  Works like a charm!

Super-Fancy Home-Made House-Selling Granola

1 container Old Fashioned (not instant) Quaker Oats
8 oz Oat Bran (usually half a package)
8 oz Raw Wheat Germ (usually half a package)
6 oz bag of Sliced Almonds (or other nuts you love)
6 oz bag of Walnuts
6 tbsp Cinnamon
1 cup Oil (I use Smart Balance)
1 cup Water
1.5 cups Honey
2 Packages Craisins

1.) Preheat your oven to 225.

2.) In a giant bowl, dump in the Quaker Oats, Oat Bran, Wheat Germ, Nuts, and Cinnamon. Give it ONE or TWO stirs - anymore than that and the Bran will settle to the bottom.

3.) Drizzle half the cup of oil onto the dry mixture, and stir.  Then drizzle the rest, and stir.

4.) Do the same with the water.

5.) Heat up the honey, and do the same with the honey.  Cereal will be moist by now, and chunking up a little.  Mmm.

6.) Spread the cereal evenly on 2 cookie sheets.  Bake for 2 hours on 225.

7.) When finished, pull out of the oven and let it rest for a good 15 to 20 minutes.  If you want to keep it moist, get it in a ziplock or a tupperware right away.  I like to LOOSELY cover the cookie sheets with aluminum foil and let them dry out a bit overnight so its a bit more crunchy.

8.) Before bagging up, sprinkle each package of Craisins on each cookie sheet.  Then, when you put the cereal away, the Craisins will mix in.

My mom used to put a bag of semi-sweet chocolate chips in there to get us to eat it when we were kids.  THAT is good.  Any raisins or dried fruit that you like (mm, banana chips) can be added in after the baking is done.

1 comment:

  1. That does sound good and though I'm not 4, I'm still going with the chocolate chips instead. I love that your blog went from a sweet little thing about recycling to things that make you poop. Am I a bad influence? Next thing I know, you are going to say vagina! haha.

    Oh, and I eat cereal... with almond milk. It's delish. I'll make you drink some when you guys come visit because I'm that awesome as a host.